The Orange

OK, I’ve had enough.

The new AB haka is outstanding. There – I’ve said it.

It was obvious on Saturday night from the crowd’s reaction that I’m not alone. In fact, from the crowd reaction it is equally obvious that most people love it.

I agree entirely with the school of thought that Ka Mate is overdone – particularly by wannabees.

I love the fact that the new haka takes from a number of cultures yet still incoporates within Maori cultural norms (which is not the same as Maori Norms on Dancing with the Fading Stars). On top of that, you have the fact that not have the current group of AB’s shown appreciation for the legacy of the haka and the All Blacks, they have grown both.

The publicity is a typical media beat up. How really cares what the Featherston Rugby Club’s ex-committee man thought?

What intrigues me is the way the media treats us all like imbeciles.

How many times have we sat through the French singing their national anthem with passion? How many times have we compared the way the French embrace their national song compared to the way we typically mumble their way through ours?

So why haven’t – for comparison sake – someone in the media printed the words of La Marseillaise? It took me 2 minutes on Google to source the following (the first verse only):

Allons enfants de la Patrie
Le jour de gloire est arrivé.
Contre nous, de la tyrannie,
L’étandard sanglant est levé,
l’étandard sanglant est levé,
Entendez-vous, dans la compagnes.
Mugir ces farouches soldats
Ils viennent jusque dans nos bras
Egorger vos fils,
vos compagnes.

Let us go, children of the fatherland
Our day of Glory has arrived.
Against us stands tyranny,
The bloody flag is raised,
The bloody flag is raised.
Do you hear in the countryside
The roar of these savage soldiers
They come right into our arms
To cut the throats of your sons,
your country.

Here’s the link to the above and another link to back it up.

A couple of questions.

Why is it OK for the French to sing about “slitting throats” but not for the AB’s to action something that may or not be about slitting throats?

Why hasn’t anyone in the media highlighted this?

Why didn’t the Featherston Rugby Club ex-committee resign after the French national anthem before AB matches?

It reeks of the same double standards that saw Ice-T made an international target of hatred for Cop Killer but Eric Clapton an international star for I Shot The Sheriff (and he stole it from Bob Marley too!!).

Please note – I haven’t used the r word either … which could be one of rugby, rednecks, and racism!

If this was a Walt Disney movie, you wouldn’t believe it!

A cricket team in Pomgolia was bowled out for FIVE runs. The top scorer made 0 not out. All the runs came from extras.

OK, so there’s Donald and Daisy and three nephews but who are the other five ducks???

Let’s hope it’s not an omen for the Ashes.

And yes, it is all true!

It’s true, the Aussie netballers didn’t lose on Saturday night … the Silver Ferns just happened to score more points than they did.

Not that the Aussies are making excuses.

Why should they make excuses when the Silver Ferns have obviously cheated??

The Silver Ferns have stolen the Aussies’ training secrets.

And we’re too professional. We pay our players but their players don’t get paid.

And we’ve had our domestic competition and they’re half we through theirs.

And we buy/recruit/drive round the streets of Suva and Cape Town dragging people off the streets to be part of the team.

Of course all of this must be true because Norma Plummer said so … and she’s no scrubber!

What was Jerry thinking??

Was he taking the piss out of the Aussies?

And if he’d done it before the Irish test, would that mean he was taking the Mickey?

Perhaps he’s been using some of that product advertised on Radio Sport … Natural Pee.

Anyway, the Aussies have got more to worry about … like how to score more points than the All Blacks, where to get a scrum from, and how to get turkey slaps off the front page and off Big Brother.

It makes Jerry look civilised by comparison.

Don’t you love it when the Aussies start bemoaning how unfair things are???

Try this for starters: Bob Dwyer selectively judges a referee.

Funny, I bet you Dwyer didn’t slam Kaplan’s decision to ping the AB’s in the seventh minute of added time in the Wellington test a couple of years aback.

In fact, I think you would find that the Aussies thought Kaplan was a great chap – it was a very fair decision and to blame the referee would be most unfair.

As a former Wallaby coach, you would be thinking Dwyer would be more worried about where the Aussies can find a front row and a scrum.

If anything is a joke, it’s the Wallabies’ scrum.

This may not be sport, but it is too good to miss.

The headline reads:

Kiwi peace activist accused of punching UK pop star

Now, if you were a “peace activist”(your title, not mine) how do you reconcile bashing the crap out of some nancy pop singer?

Does that make you a “former peace activist” or a thug?

And is “rooting for the underdog” legal or at best frowned on?

Perhaps we should just tell all these tree huggers just to “peace” off!

In one respect, this is hardly a sports issue – an Italian car manufacturer stealing the haka for an ad.

Click here to view the ad – you will need to click on the small car (it is a Fiat after all) to view the add.

On the one hand, you can put some positive spin onto this.

It shows that there is at least an awareness of NZ and Maori culture (however inappropriate). In particular, it shows the reverence in which the All Blacks and the way in which the haka uniquely portrays New Zealand and New Zealand sports on the international stage.

On the other hand, it is hard to accept that the Italians can rape and pillage (figuratively) other cultures without batting an eyelid yet the Europeans via the EU go ballistic if you even try to market products using geographical names such as Parma, Champagne and the like. The hypocrisy is of the highest order.

It’s also difficult to apply one’s cultural norms to another – as we saw with the riots associated with the cartoons around Mohammed (not the boxer). That’s not to saw that cultural norms can’t and don’t change – for example, the cultural norms in most countries until 100 years ago or so was that women didn’t vote. In most countries, until similar times, mean without land didn’t vote. I suppose the point is for each of these cultures to evolve as is appropriate.

I still haven’t decided if I think this works or not. I can’t help but cringe when I watch it. At the same time, I can’t but feel some sense that our ie Maori culture is recognised and at the same time it illustrates the way in which Maori culture is – in albeit small parts – becoming synonomous with New Zealand culture eg words like whanau etc.

I’m just glad that they didn’t use Kapo O Ponga … imagine what the little kid would have done at the end of the ad!