It’s only appropriate that I should finally flog something from the Onion – this site isn’t a shadow of the Onion but it did provide some initial inspiration.
For any petrolheads out there, here’s a nice take on putting the horses out to the stud:
Apparently, Ian O’Brien was subjected to name calling and insults at the Gabba.
The way the team batted, you’d have to wonder if the abuse was actually coming from the NZ selecters.
You’ve got to laugh at the Aussies – they lose a match and everyone else is to blame.
So the ref made mistakes?
The key ones would appear to be:
The first one is not an error but an interpretation. Based on the interpretation – it was stripped – there is not mistake. It’s hard to argue with the ruling either – there was so much pressure on the ball it was spinning around.
The penalty try was indeed controversial. Again, it was an interpretation issue. However, it wouldn’t have been an issue if Moynahan hadn’t have taken Hohaia out of play.
I actually have some sympathy for the ruling about the tackle putting Hohaia back into goal. Having said that, it’s not unusual (to quote the Welshman) to have that ruled as it was when the play is that close to the goal and the attacking player has made good ground past the goal line.
So let’s look at some of the other mistakes:
At least four of the Kiwis tries came directly from Aussies mistakes.
Moreover, you’ve got to say that having Whatmough on the bench was another mistake.
So rather than looking to blame the officials, Ricky should be looking a little closer to home.
It seemed somehow appropriate that the Kiwis winning the RL World Cup is associated with the conquest of Everest.
Hillary knocked his bastard off without spitting distance of the first RL World Cup. However, the Kiwis have never looked close to getting to the top, even if they have featured in two previous finals.
I’d love to see the Sky metrics at half time. The Aussies up 10-nil with Lockyer having appeared to have scored a try must have accounted for some viewers while the Kiwis getting up and then letting the lead slip in sight of oranges was deja vu all over again.
Luckily for me, Walk The Line finished so I had no alternative to watch the entire second half. And what a half it was.
Sure, the Kiwis got the rub of the green. However, it was hard to argue with the decisions to award tries from strips or even the last one where it looked like a game of human pinball. The penalty try was more dubious but there’s an absolute way to avoid such anguish and that’s not to tackle an opponent when they are in the in goal trying to effect a try.
The reaction of the Aussies and their press has been telling. I think they genuinely beleived their own press and much of what we are now seeing mirrored what happened after the All Blacks loss to France in RWC 2007.
Mind you, I don’t recall the NZ coach calling it a conspiracy -
KANGAROOS coach Ricky Stuart was so incensed by the shock loss of his team to New Zealand in Saturday night’s World Cup final he verbally attacked ARL chief executive and close friend Geoff Carr, alleging a conspiracy by tournament organisers.
In fact, just last week Henry was recognised for his good grace in the face of what must have been an overwhelming loss.
As for the players, I’m sure none of the ABs is sending Xmas cards to Wayne “Kerr” Barnes but neither did they spit the dummy they way the Roos did claiming they were stitched up:
Lock Paul Gallen claimed the Australians were “stitched up”, while others were highly critical of the controversial penalty try ruling by video referee Steve Ganson that took the game away from the Kangaroos.
The best quote says it all about the tournament – from joke to choke.
The Kiwis have finally knocked off their own Everest and lets hope they remember how to climb that mountain again.
I feel sorry for anyone who Googles for Climate Change as stumbles across this post.
Actually, I feel sorry for anyone who googles anything and stumbles across this blog but I wish both my readers over the past 2 years no harm.
Stephen Jones is a Welshman who is unashamedly English. Go figure.
He knows his job as a journalist is to sell papers and he seems to go out of his way to bad the All Blacks and New Zealand to do so. I’m convinced he must generate thousands of sales to irate ex-pat Kiwis intent on spitting the dummy at his latest tirade.
Well bugger me if he didn’t come out and say something positive about the All Blacks and something that I couldn’t fault him on.
Writing in the Sunday Times, he praised the All Blacks for their mid-week game against Munster although there was the odd conspiracy theory as to why it happened in the first place – even if the role of Adidas wasn’t highlighted.
But let us praise New Zealand for entering into the spirit and for taking the match on. Let us praise the stadium and the mighty Munster effort, the three-man haka by the three Munster Kiwis and the respect shown by New Zealand for the traditions of this grand provincial giant.
Actually, I’m not trying to be petty but I thought there were four (as seen in the photo accompanying the story although he may not have included the honky in the haka).
For once, let’s allow Mr Jones to rant and rave and for once, let’s savour every word and agree with him:
And for goodness sake, let us praise what it was: a tour match! A ruddy tour match! The All Blacks, God bless them, forsook the normal giant hotel in the capital city – the base for all these teams (from both hemispheres) who make hit-and-run trips to play single Tests and have no contact with the country or its people, and who sit pompously behind security men wearing their posh branded kit waiting to train while wasting their visits.
They took their aura and their passion somewhere else, they met people and they showed the jersey. They played a match that was hell-for-leather, that meant nothing in the IRB world rankings but everything in the hearts of the players and the fans.
So there it goes. Stephen Jones fulsome in his praise of the All Blacks. Hell is indeed freezing over.
Sadly, my one reader, some Irish ijit, is unlikely to come back.
Actually, I don’t know if he will or not but that’s the joy of being NZ’s fourth rated neo-liberal, organic sports blog.
I have been remiss the last week or so (actually, I’ve got a lot of excuses but none of them even interests me so I’ll leave it at that).
Anyway, before I got sidetracked of the last week or so, I was supposed to have done something about the Women’s World Cup Under 17 Football. I didn’t but I’ve run out of excuses.
It was great.
There I said it.
A couple of decades ago, a decent bloke would have been demembered for even watching a game of football. Oops, there I go again, soccer.
We used to think only sheilas played soccer. It was a girls’ game.
And dang weren’t they good.
A couple of tough results in their first couple of games left them with no chance of qualifying for the playoffs but by then it didn’t matter. OK, it did matter – very much – to the players, their families, and their supporters.
But to the rest of us the efforts of the NZ team in converted doubters to supporters was the only success that mattered.
Skill. Passion. Excitement. Tension. Tears.
And we were right all along … soccer IS a girls game and man they were good!
So much for the Irish being a friendly bunch (forgetting of course your friendly IRL-types – and their opponents – who would happily bomb the living crap out of you).
An Irish jouno has given the AB’s a veritable one-fingered salute on their arrival in Ireland.
All Blacks ‘aura’ can’t mask their own failings
OK, the AB’s record in the RWC has been atrocious since 1987 and I readily accept that the World will happily celebrate the failure of the AB’s to win the World Cup.
Just like we celebrate the Aussies when they lose. Anything.
He made a few interesting comments:
Outside of their own, few people love the All Blacks. New Zealand victories are, by and large, statements of power. They smash teams, then run a bus over the bodies. They play through a vaguely malignant strain of intimidation.
Given that “few people love the AB’s”, isn’t it surprising that adidas would fork our so much spondolees to sponsor them? They sure as hell aren’t getting their money back selling to 4 million Kiwis.
He then has a dig about the AB’s not being “gay” enough [work with me people!]:
During the ‘91 World Cup, I referred to them as having all the “gaiety of gravediggers”. Ruthless on the field, they were robotic off it. The description seemed to cause profound offence in New Zealand.
It doesn’t take a genius to work out what happened 20 years ago isn’t the same as today, particularly the growing Pacific influence on the team.
Mind you, the thought of Doug Howlett jumping up and down on some car is kind of robotic!
He then has a dig at the haka. Boring. Get over it. The Northern Hemisphere bag the haka (simply because they don’t have one of their own) but dare the All Blacks not perform it in public before the game, all hell breaks lose.
As with all rants, there is a substance of truth. Yes, the All Blacks are solely focussed on sport (strange that! – I bet Man U would be happy to accept a mid-table performance) and yes there must be great joy around the world when the favourites tumble.
It doesn’t change the fact that Ireland have never beaten the All Blacks. Not once. And after reading this tirade, you’d expect the AB’s to be at their bullying best at the weekend.
How sad, never mind 
Out of habit, I got up to watch the haka live.
It was a bit of an effort given that the election wrap up had finished about 1 am. Mind you, there was more mystery about the election result than there was about whether the Scots could finally – ever – beat the AB’s.
The helicopter was a little different – and was the strobe lights – but that’s hardly worth getting up for.
A lot was made about Referee Wayne “Kerr” Barnes and he made his mark early on – ironically, yellow carding one of the Scots. Yeah ref, he’d been doing it all day!!
Boric got carded later in the first half but by then I’d gone back to bed.
I can appreciate the majesty of a scrum if I have to. Scrums can be a great attacking weapon and an even better defensive one.
But after a few hours of sleep, I don’t want to see touch, pause, engage, let’s do it again when the ball could actually be in play.
To make things worse, Wayne then pings the attacking team (it kind of depowers the scrum when the ref pings you for getting a bit excited).
What a bore. Add that to the nine different versions of the ELVS (actually, I might be confusing that with Snow White and the Three Smurfs) and it made bed even more appealling.
Thank the Spaghetti Monster for the Sky Sports 3 highlights – the only way to watch rugby.
I spend a lot of time in the car so i get to listen to a lot of Radio Sport.
It also means I normally get to listen to a lot of dickheads. Some even phone in.
When it comes to the Phoenix, the dickheads have come out in full force.
Originally it was Telfer who poo-poohed the concept of the Phoenix having any chance of success in Wellington.
On Friday, it was Willie Lose (I won’t do the Loser with the silent “r” gag this time).
Now, fair game the Phoenix have been disappointing.
However, prior to the last round, while the Phoenix were indeed last, they were far from out of contention. Indeed, after the win against Sydney on Friday night, the Phoenix find themselves in 6th place and one win out of the top four.
Yes, the crowds are down but crowds of 6000 would have been 3 times the average crowd in Auckland. The crowd at the Sydney game was 12000 – given the relative population bases, you’d have to say 6000 is pretty decent.
And while I’m at it, here’s a final point.
It tells you something about the mentality of the Jafas when you consider the teams – NZ Warriors, NZ Breakers, NZ Knights … and the Wellington Phoenix.
Perhaps Radio Sport still thinks NZ ends at Bombay?