The Orange

I have a problem.

OK, I have many problems but this is not THAT type of blog.

Actually, I’m not really sure what type of blog it is but there ya go.

Moving on, I saw this but didn’t really know where to go with it.

It’s sport but it’s not sport as we know it.

It’s not pawn (I’m not going to spell it the right way because, you know, it’s not THAT OTHER type of site either).

I suppose if I was an Aussie, I would say something along the lines of don’t come the raw pawn with me sport.  But that’s another story.

Really, there’s nothing left to say but here’s some pix from the Lingerie Football League.  There was a story somewhere but as they saw, a picture tells a thousands words, especially in raw pawn.

Finally, an Aussie sports champ I can relate to:

In a back room of his cottage in Australia Phil Day has just broken the world record on the 28-year-old classic arcade game and successor to Space Invaders, Galaga.

Passing the previous mark of 2.7 million set by an American, Andrew Laidlaw, in 2007, Mr Day’s score of 3.44 million is the culmination of six months’ training and practice.

Dedication, training, focus, success.  All the things we want in the All Blacks.

Funnily enough, the game was almost in vogue the last times the AB’s won the RWC!

Helpful link for those too young to know and the those too old to want to remember:

As strange as it may seem, with all the sport that’s been on at the weekend, my attention was taken by a story in Stuff about MP’s from Pomgolia who’ve come to NZ to investigate binge drinking.

If this was a couple of days ago, you would rightly thinking I was pulling your tit.

But no, it apparently is true and it cost the poor Pommy tax payers almost $200,000 to fly the MP’s here.

Now, I note from the tags used so far on this blog that “pissheads” appears to have been a bit of a theme.

I don’t want to start a rumour (OK, go on) but …

The MP’s flew to arriving in Auckland then flew down to Wellington.

A couple are still there.

Completely co-incidentally of course, the NZ cricketers happen to be in Wellington.

I’m not saying the events are connected … BUT if you search on the tag “pisshead” I think you’ll find a few post about NZ cricketers!

Now if I was really serious or at least motivated, I’d come up with my own April Fool’s hoax.

Like the IRB have found evidence of the AB’s being poisoned in 1995 and have been awarded the World Cup on a judicial review.

Or something to do with the fact that rugby league players in Australia have been seen drinking soft drinks.

Or NZ scored 600 runs in a test match.

Oops, that one isn’t a hoax after all!

Anyway, if you’ve got a bit of time, check out the 100 Best April Fool’s Day Hoaxes of All Time.

Some sporting hoaxes I like:

#20: The 26-Day Marathon

1981: The Daily Mail ran a story about an unfortunate Japanese long-distance runner, Kimo Nakajimi, who had entered the London Marathon but, on account of a translation error, thought that he had to run for 26 days, not 26 miles. Reportedly Nakajimi was now somewhere out on the roads of England, still running, determined to finish the race. Various people had spotted him, though they were unable to flag him down. The translation error was attributed to Timothy Bryant, an import director, who said, “I translated the rules and sent them off to him. But I have only been learning Japanese for two years, and I must have made a mistake. He seems to be taking this marathon to be something like the very long races they have over there.”

And good to see sport can be the winner on the day!

#82: Maradona Joins Soviet Soccer Team

In 1988 the Soviet newspaper Izvestia reported that the world-renowned Argentine soccer star Diego Maradona was in negotiations to join the Moscow Spartaks. The Spartaks were to pay him $6 million to play on their struggling team. Izvestia later admitted that the story was an April Fool’s day joke, but only after the news was disseminated by the Associated Press, which then had to publish a red-faced retraction. The AP had believed the story because it was the first time in modern memory that a Soviet newspaper had published an April Fool’s day hoax. The sudden display of humor was attributed to Mikhail Gorbachev’s policy of glasnost, or openness.

And the final one for Tiger:

#91: Augusta National Goes Public

The May 1990 issue of Golf magazine had good news for golf enthusiasts. It reported that Augusta National, the elite private golf course where the Masters tournament is held, would begin allowing public access to its course at certain times. As a result of this report, both Augusta National and Golf magazine received hundreds of calls from eager golfers inquiring about playing privileges. But the report was an April fool’s joke, despite its placement in the May issue. Golf magazine was forced to publish a retraction, reaffirming that Augusta National was still a private club open only to members and guests.

I blogged yesterday about 5 songs that have become sporting anthems.

Which got me thinking about songs we’d like to hear at sports stadia.

Beck – Loser

What a great song.

What a great song to play for any Aussie sporting team.

Check it out here.

T-Rex et al – Get it On (Bang a Gong)

Think Tua and Cameron.

Bugger the posing.

Get it on. Bang a gong!

While the original is pretty good, Power Station’s 1980’s cover is the recommended version.  I should mention that Marc Bolan/T-Rex are responsible for some of the best songs that have been covered – Bauhaus Telegram Sam in particular.

Dead Kennedys – Too Drunk

Play it for the terraces around the world.

Just make sure your mum’s not at the ground.

Split Enz – I See Red

I’m sure it’s been done but what a great way to celebrate a cheating Aussie receiving a red card.

And we get our 20% Keeping it Kiwi quota too!

Korn – Blind

Perfect for those Aussie cricket umps!

I saw bits and pieces of various UK SuperLeague games last weekend.

You knew when a try was scored when Blur’s Song 2.

Sadly, it was all a little underwhelming.  10,000 pasty faced Poms sitting there being told to get their mojo out.  Woohoo indeed.

Don’t get me wrong.  Great, great song.  But when the crowd is struggling to get excited, it just doesn’t do justice to the song.

Which got me thinking about a list of sporting anthems that (to be fair) risk being over exposed, over used, and frankly a little over it.

So here’s the Orange’s list of over-used sporting anthems:

Gary Glitter – Rock and Roll – Part II

I bet you your next year’s wages or salary that most people wouldn’t know what I’m talking about.  Especially the yanks.

Yet it is now one of the most hackneyed over-played sporting anthems ever known to mankind (and the Americans too).

Here it is in all its Glam Glory:

And I bet you the same people who’ve got no idea of the song have got no idea of the Gary Glitter story.  Just as well eh!

Blur – Song 2

Woohoo.

See above.

Queen – We are the Champions

Yet again, something to cherish the first time it’s done but less so the zillionth time it’s done for a D Grade competition no one really cares about.

And what is it about sporting anthems sung by blokes with a dodgy story?

Gary Glitter – I’m the Leader of the Gang (I am)

And what is it with Gary Glitter?  Did he sit down and right songs to be sporting anthems?  I mean every time someone makes a comeback, we get “Hello, Hello, it’s Good to be Back“!

It must have had something to do with the admittedly endearingly repetitive choruses.

As does Leader of the Gang … “c’mon, c’mon”.  Think the Warriors at Mt Smart working their way out of their half.

And if you’ve checked out any of the Glitter videos, thank God for punk, rap, reggae and all the other form of music that rescued us from 1970’s glam.

How Bizarre

NZ gets an honorary mention through OMC’s “How Bizarre”.

It was a brilliant use of a pop song – I remember it being used in NFL games.

Problem was, it pissed off the officials who didn’t need to be reminded about their strange officiating.

I wonder if the Aussie umps get their own song played when they walk out onto the park?

[I was tempted to go for Queen's We Will Rock You but needed a 20% NZ quota!]

Edit:

I’m not the first to have thought of this!

http://au.askmen.com/top_10/fitness_60/67_fitness_list.html

http://tvnz.co.nz/view/page/417227/616197

OK I know this isn’t really sport but it does involve a team (of players!) and excessive use of alcohol.

No, it’s not New Zealand rugby.

Apparently the Rolling Stones are considering giving Ronnie Wood the DCM (Don’t Come Monday) if he doesn’t clean up his act.

According to Stuff:

Ronnie failed his medical for the 2002/2003 tour because he was drinking seven times the recommended number of alcohol units a week. He had to spend months drying out at a clinic in Arizona.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought this type of “team building” was compulsory for rock groups and John Mitchell’s rugby teams.

Mind you, all that drinking obviously hasn’t impacted on his … err performance away from the drum kit.

Apart from excessive drinking, his hobbies also include 20 year old Russians with a tendency to flash their prime assets.  We can only conclude that even with all that pissing up, he can still get satisfaction.