The Orange

Sorry to both my readers but I forgot to blog for the past six months!

Go the Abs, go the All Whites.

I’m on a course today.

A race course.

Boom boom.

Hoping to have a Classic Day

Anyway, need a quick and dirty (as in fast not dirty ho) post so here we go – the ten most embarrassing moments in sport courtesy of the Granny Herald.

You can read them yourself you lazy rick-with-a-silent-p but my favourite is this one:

8. How about major-league baseball outfielder Milton Bradley of the Chicago Cubs who caught a fly ball at Wrigley field back in June and did what players traditionally do after the third “out” of the inning – he tossed the ball to a grateful fan in the stands. Only trouble was – Bradley had lost track of the number of outs and it was actually only TWO down – his gaffe allowed a couple of Minnesota baserunners to stroll around the bases. The crowd wasn’t impressed.

Hopefully, I enjoyed my course and still have some money left to buy fish and chips on the way home!

It’s been a while since we last visited my favourite topic – cheating Aussies.

At least a couple of weeks.

However, you don’t need to wait long for our cobbers across the deetch to do something underarm.

Apparently, Tim Sheens is upset for his innocent wee boys who have a score to settle.

THE Four Nations final between Australia and England is poised to detonate with Kangaroos coach Tim Sheen giving his side the green light to “square up” with England for some grubby tactics from their last encounter – as long as it’s legal.

OK, let’s get this straight.  Tim Sheens thinks his team – including the grub of all grubs Gallen – has been hard done by??

What’s interesting is to see that this view is not just a Kiwi piss take.

Some of our cobbers agree:

… the moment Gallen was selected the Australian team lost my support. Why would you select somebody like Mr Cheap Shot Merchant from a team like equal last placed Cronulla, that only brought the game into disrepute all year, unless you intended to use some cheap shots yourself? Fancy Sheens complaining about grubby off the ball incidents. Gallen is a master of those and his swinging arm in the last game was totally unnecessary and typical of the low life grub he is. Yes the Aussies love to dish it out but cant take it. I never thought I would ever say this in my entire life but go the Poms.

It gets better!

conan of NSW unfortunately, there is one comment from a kiwi you paranoid fool. Also, how do you know he is not living in NZ. Surely you are not too stupid to realise how the WORLD Wide Web works. I would be surprised if the kiwis threw their game against the Poms to get away from the whinging Aussies. Pitty they still have to put up with whingers like yourself. Like your team, harden up.

I think s/he meant to say they wouldn’t be surprised but nothing surprises me about those Aussies.  Jarrod surprises though!

i wouldnt go to england if you paid me you fools im aussie through and through, but when it comes to league, i cant follow a team of skirts, my australian side is a totaly different side to the one who is playing in the final….. i am a new south welsh man and one all year round not just at origin time. so in saying that i cant go for a side with a bunch of whinging sooks who worry bout the cheap shots they cop when they do it all year round…..and for the tosser who said gallen was our best …best what……..best at given away possession….he is a fool, big sam burges im glad he is coming to souths next year he looks the goods…GO THE POMMIES …….RIP INTO THESE FAIRIES…… WANNA BE WORLD CHAMPS …COULDNT EVEN GET THAT JOB DONE, CLOWNS

Let’s hope the game is half as much fun as the comments on the Telegraph web site!

I’m not a great fan of tennis – not the game as such but the overblown reverence it is awarded in NZ.

Still, this is a reasonable ad with that guy (but not That Guy) who’s starting to get a little over-exposed.

A quick flashback to 2008 and the Kiwis pull off a rugby league miracle.

Let’s hope for another one tomorrow morning.

Here’s the highlights with the number one commentary team:

And we won the haka-off at the start of the game too!

We all think Aussies are wankers.

Funnily enough, they didn’t see this one … er, coming.

A West Coast netball team’s cheeky name has been deemed too blue by the organisers of an international sporting event in Australia.

The Greymouth team, formerly known as the Master Baiters, will take part in the Sydney World Masters Games, which start on Saturday.

The team was asked to change its name after organisers thought the risque reference to whitebaiting was too much.

The 10 players in the New World Master Netters, as they are now called, will be among more than 1400 Kiwis taking part in 28 sports at the event.

Umpire Jocelyn Crestani, who will travel with the team, said the organisers feared the name “might have a bit of a double meaning if it was pronounced wrong”.

…

If you read it too quickly it could be misinterpreted. It’s fine for the locals, but maybe not there,” Crestani said.

Bloody Aussies

Can’t live with them.  Can’t live with them!

It’s funny how context is everything.

A couple of weeks or months ago, no one would have given two proverbials about the away goal rule.

In fact, the major away rule we would have enforced was in late 2007 when Graham Henry would have been sent away – anywhere.  That was the rule.

However, after the All Whites fortuitous/honourable (take your pick) draw with Bahrain at the weekend, we find the away goal rule taking centre stage (instead of centre forward).

The FIFA rule is simple (if you’re a brain surgeon):

1. Winners win

2. If the results are shared, then away goals count double.

Simple.

Mind you, it confuses the hell out of the Yanks:

Barcelona advanced Wednesday to the final of the UEFA Champions League on the away goals rules — waiting more than 90 minutes to score against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge in a game that ended 1-1.

Barcelona’s Andres Iniesta, the heart and soul of the team’s midfielder, took a pass from Lionel Messi and buried a shot from about 25 yards into the top of the net, ending Chelsea’s dream of a final rematch against Manchester United. The championship game will be played in Rome on May 27.

Barcelona (which will soon announce its plans for a North American tour this summer) and Chelsea played a 0-0 tie in Spain last week. In the return match, it appeared that Michael Essien’s stunning volley in the first half was going to stand up. And it did, through 90 minutes plus.

Then — boom! Iniesta scores. Barcelona celebrates. Chelsea goes home.

The away goals rule is peculiar to soccer and is positively alien to most American fans. Perhaps it is accepted, perhaps not.

Should the teams instead play extra time, then, if still tied, go to penalty kicks? Are PKs more equitable in resolving a game, or are they just as unsatisfying?

It’s an interesting perspective.

The All Whites could conceivably draw 1-1 or 2-2 and not be beaten in the playoff yet miss out on the away goals rule.

The rule clearly values scoring goals.  You could equally argue it rewards crap defence but that’s the rules.

I’ve tried to get a definitive guide (help me out here!) but the best I can do is assume that extra time will only be played if the score is exactly 0-0 in which case the a draw at the end of extra time will do Bahrain fine.

Let’s just hope it’s pissing with rain and the southerly makes itself known to our Middle Eastern visitors.

By the time this goes live, NZ could well be on the way to the next world cup.

And we’re not talking about the rugby version either.

A decent result against Bahrain leaves it all on the line in Wellington on November 14.

I’d take a draw or a high-scoring close loss for the All Whites.

Anyway, here’s an interesting commentary on NZ getting to 2-3 against a very strong Scots team in the 1982 World Cup finals before going down 2-5.

And if that floats your boat, check our every minute of all three games here.

New Zilders tend to have a binary reaction to rugby – it’s either all good in the hood or doom and gloom.

There’s no mid-field so to speak when it comes to our view of rugby.

So while we seem to be in another boom period, the Aussies have a different spin on things with David Campese suggesting the game is in disarray.

We shouldn’t ignore it as more Aussie bleating as Teacher Ted himself has opined that rugby is losing its appeal.

Campo is not impressed by the new improved game of force back:

Australian rugby legend David Campese suggested the Wallabies were in “disarray”, labelling the Cape Town Tri-Nations debacle a game of “AFL” after the ball was kicked “77 times.

…

“At the moment it’s just kicking, kicking, kicking. In the game in Cape Town the ball was kicked 77 times. It was a game of Aussie Rules.

Hmm, now I’m sure if the Aussies were winning it would be a different thing.

But what about the rule changes?

Ex-Wallaby coach Eddie Jones was equally scathing about … officials who rubber-stamp the rules, suggesting the law-makers had been drinking too much of the South African white wine “Stellenbosch”.

The general consensus among the rugby fraternity is the game has become bogged down in too many technicalities and penalties and the rules mean it is too defence-orientated, ruining the appeal of the code once renowned as the “running game”.

The irony of course is that the while rugby league lurches from embarassment to worse OFF the field, it’s not having an impact ON the field:

A friend of [Campo] coaches an under-10s side and he said the heroes for the kids are rugby league players, not rugby union players.

…

Rugby league’s thriving. They’ve got so many problems off the field but people are still coming to the game because they’ve got a good product.

Indeed.

As for Henry, he’s also concerned for the Aussie game:

Henry – who also recommends the value of a penalty goal be reduced to one – said the increasing preponderance of kicking at the top level of the sport was also a disadvantage to the natural running instincts of his side and Australia.

But that’s the problem.

Only NZ and Australia are worried about playing running rugby.

South Africa only concern is to play winning rugby.

And the rest of the world just wants to stop the ABs and Wannabees from winning.

Any excuse to get a decent (or indecent) music vid into the post although there is a real risk that I’m showing my age here.

Still, the jockeys in Oz are up in arms (as opposed to coming up to the armpits) about restraints over the use of the whip.

… jockeys have warned they will boycott Spring Carnival racedays unless the ARB changes its stance and allows jockeys to use the whip without restriction in the last 100m of a race.

As it stands, they can only flog the poor horse five times in the last 200 metres.  Mind you, if I’ve backed it, there shouldn’t be a limit!

The Aussies have a real nut case of animal lovers.  The anti jumping lobby is adamantly and fundamentally opposed to jumping races yet when asked what to do with the redundant jumping horses, one of the suggestions was to put them down!!!  Now, if I was a jumping horse I’d rather take my chance in a race thank you very much.

As for the whipping, it will be interesting because it’s quite clear that the racing carnivals rely on the jockeys.

One solution proposed by Craig:

“Instead of strike action. Why don’t the jockeys just continue to ride as they did prior to the new whip rule. Will the stewards then suspend every jockey?”

Anyway, enough of the racing – no one really cares about racing any more do they so let’s just cut to the obligatory related music vid.

And today, it’s a goodie … Devo!