The Orange

If this wasn’t so tragic given the Caster Semenya situation, you’d think someone was taking the piss.

Just not sure if they were standing up or sitting down.

A couple of horses in Oz have been reported as being “intersex“.  Which is not quite the same as being “into sex” but that’s a different type of blog!

Anyway, back to the horses.  Same story as the runner – elevated testosterone lead to a look see and indeed look what they found:

Tuscan Abbe is a hermaphrodite: a female horse possessing a male Y chromosome and internal male testes that produce large amounts of testosterone known in racing circles as an intersex mare.

Just watch those cheating Aussies try to enter the dodgy horse into NZ race for fillies and mares!

Oh the irony.

Those Cheating Aussies are accusing the All Blacks of cheating at scrums.

Former Wallabies prop Andrew Blades has accused New Zealand of employing dubious tactics to disrupt the opposition’s scrum in the Tri Nations tournament.

Yep, it’s got nothing to do with the fact that Wallabies have got a crap scrum.

Asked how he thought the inexperienced Alexander would go against wily New Zealand loosehead prop Tony Woodcock, Blades said: “It’s hard to know. It depends on the refereeing.

“If the referee polices Woodcock, Alexander will be fine.

“If not, it will be an issue no matter who is playing against him.

“Woodcock is very disruptive. It’s his bread and butter. But he gets away with a lot. It will be important how the scrum is refereed.

Great.  So your crap scrum is because the refs don’t police the All Blacks.

There’s a certain irony that the Boks and Aussies are blaming the refs and in the Boks case still winning.  They never had Wayne the Pain in the quarter finals did they

OK, Tim Brown and most of the Nix need google maps to find the goal – but not Ifill or Greenacre.

Friday’s game against Adelaide was a game the Nix SHOULD have won.

But why worry about the result when you’ve got all those cheating Aussies to complain about?

Now, I’m not saying the refs and his two disabled … oops, able assistant refs weren’t quite up to it but a couple of points:

1. I think it’s great the Aussies refs are so keen to show they aren’t swayed by the home crowd.  It would be great to see them do it and some other grounds now.
2. A little advice for the assistant ref # 1 – when THEY head the ball out in front of you, WE get the ball at the throw in (I know, it’s a difficult one that and easy to mix up)
3. A little advice for the assistant ref # 2 – when THEY touch the ball (or we miss it entirely) and it goes over THEIR goal line (but not in that netty thing) WE get a corner.  Another of soccer’s difficult and confusing rules, I know.

Anyway, I hope the effing reffing team had a good time in Wellington.

I heard some rumours they left a few things behind in their ref’s change room.   Apparently, there was a white cane and a water bowl for the linesman’s guide dog but they’re easily replaced.

The Granny Herald is backing my cheating Aussies campaign.

Perhaps, they might put it in slightly different terms like we’ve never read of your stupid blog, we don’t read your stupid blog and you’re just a stupid blogger.  But, yes, those Aussies sure are cheats.

Look what they’re up to now!!!!

Those Aussies sure know how to develop top sporting talent. Canberra is changing its citizenship laws to fast-track foreign-born athletes so they can represent Australia. The unseemly haste is so that Russian speed skater Tatiana Borodulina – a cheery Muscovite five minutes ago – can become a Convict in time to bag medals in the green and gold at the Vancouver Winter Olympics in February.

Immigration and Citizenship Minister Chris Evans popped his tongue in his cheek and said: “These changes will lead to more gold medals for Australia at sporting events, as well as providing a real win for the national workforce.”

Eh? A “win for the national workforce”?

What about all those speed skaters in Darwin who’ve seen their job prospects melt?

We wonder if they ask the new recruits whether they have any convictions?  Naturally, it wasn’t that long ago that it was compulsory!

A little late but still worth noting, particularly as Stickey (Ricky Stuart) is never slow to take shots at those who mess up as the ref did on the weekend v Manly.

Ricky Stuart must be the type of cheating Aussie we most like to hate.

If I remember correctly, his last game was in NZ when he got carted off injured … which was kind of what it must have found like after the World Cup final last year.

Note to All Blacks – yes, it is possible to write “NZ”, “World Cup” and “win” in the same sentence without using a negative.

Anyway, Peter Fitz had a lovely story about our Aussie friend:

Here is Ricky Stuart when he left the Wallabies in early 1988 to join the Canberra Raiders: ”Rugby union has been tremendously good to me, but eventually I always thought I would drift to league.”

Here is Ricky Stuart when he joined Super League in 1995: ”Ricky Stuart will do what’s best for Ricky Stuart.”

And here is Ricky Stuart, writing in his column, on the news that Karmichael Hunt is leaving rugby league to play first union and then AFL: ”If we don’t draw a line in the sand now, more and more players will take the money and run like Karmichael Hunt has done. Our game develops these players. Makes them stars. And bang, they cash in and rugby league is left to hold the can before they turn and want to come back. I … [understand] something Karmichael will probably never understand. Loyalty to the game. Sadly, Karmichael’s decision reflects this new generation where players want what’s best for them and not the team.”

Says it all really.

OK here goes live blogging and all that entails.

Bulldogs 10 – Warriors 4.

At least two dodgy decisions so far.  In fact, the Warriors haven’t had the ball since they were on attack and a knockon was incorrectly ruled.

Heremaia off, Henderson on.

What if Heremaia played for the OTHER team?

Heremaia was a Bulldog

Was a good friend of mine …

Bulldogs have all the possession, momentum, penalties, referees etc

Bulldogs mistake.  Warriors mistake.

ANOTHER cheating call.  If Ah Van played at the ball, I’m a cheating Aussie.   BTW I am screaming at the TV but the cheating refs aren’t listening.

Doggies 16-4

Refs have scored three tries so it was only a matter of time before the Doggies scored one themselves.

Refs 16, Doggies 6-4.  Had added the two before the kick.

You are fucking kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Game over.  Blog over.

[At this stage, Stacey bombs after the Warriors get a penalty on the 40 min mark.  Ah Van plays the ball back in the Doggies in goal, Roberts picks up, passes and the Doggies score at the other end!]

Refs 16, Doggies 12.  Warriors 4.

Shock horror probe.

How crafty are those Aussies getting?

Not only do they cheat their way to the top, but the bloody Aussies are now accusing our Ritchie of cheating!!!

Analysis of the opening Bledisloe Cup game shows McCaw flagrantly entering the side of the ruck at least seven times, and contesting kicks while offside on at least three occasions.

But despite being captured repeatedly failing to enter the breakdown from behind the last man’s feet, McCaw proved “Mr Untouchable” by escaping without a single offside penalty all night. Referee Craig Joubert only pinged McCaw twice for unrelated ruck offences.

The Wallabies refused to publicly comment on McCaw’s dodgy tactics this week but the offside law is set to come under the spotlight on Saturday night in the second Bledisloe stoush in Sydney.

Cry my a river!

It’s only cheating when you get caught.

Like not having correct passports.

Like not bowling overarm.

Or claiming a catch when the ball has rolled along the ground, Greg!!!

Still, when push comes to shove in a ruck, Ritchie’s former coach knows he’s not a cheat:

But when asked if he was an illegal or smart player, Deans said: “If you get away with it, you’re a smart player but I don’t want to go there. I’m not concerned about history, just Saturday night in Sydney.”

Former Wallabies coach Eddie Jones said McCaw’s edge-of-the-law work at the breakdown was no different to the world’s other premier No.7s. It is his ability to sweet-talk referees that sets the Kiwi apart, reckons Jones.

“McCaw is an outstanding flanker who plays the laws to the edge like Smith, Burger, Waugh, Brussow,” Jones said.

“There is little difference – they all are on the edge. McCaw’s point of difference, just like Sean Fitzpatrick, is that he is an outstanding captain with good communication skills – and he develops a good rapport with refs and profits from the law of social reciprocation. He speaks well to refs so refs respond well. Smart!”

There ya have it – cheating Aussies, smart Kiwis.  Just as we thought.

Couldn’t resist this one:

Six Australian players with the Super League club Celtic Crusaders have been ordered to leave the United Kingdom over visa breaches.

Crusaders captain Jace Van Dijk and fellow Australian teammates Tony Duggan, Damien Quinn, Josh Hannay, Darren Mapp and Mark Dalle-Court are to be deported after immigration officials ruled they had breached visa regulations.

Interestingly, the Club doesn’t seem to be backing their players:

The six players were given until September 7 to leave the country but the club immediately took the step of cancelling their contracts.

Mind you, it becomes a little clearer later on:

“This situation does, however, provide us with an ideal opportunity to give some Welsh youngsters valuable first team action for our final three games of the season, starting this Saturday when we play Leeds Rhinos in Newport.”

Anyway, what a surprise.  Aussie cheats.  Who would have dreamed of it?

I love playing buzzword bingo at work … it should be part of my annual performance objectives.

Anyway, around here, we always focus on the big issues.

Like pissheads, dickheads and cheating Aussies.

And bingo!!! the Herald has wrapped them all up into a nice little gallery.

• Gred Inglis – dickhead
• Anthony Watmough – pisshead, dickhead
• Reni Matua – cheating Aussie
• Brett Seymour – pisshead, dickhead, Warrior (one of these words is not like the other)
• Tony Zappia (no relation to Frank) – dickhead, cheating Aussie
• Brad Fittler – pisshead, dickhead
• Nate Myles – pisshead, dickhead, shit for brains
• Mathew Johns – dickhead
• Greg Bird – pisshead, dickhead
• Brett Stuart – pisshead, dickhead

And like the Warriors against the Titans last week, I got bored and gave up.

And there’s still a couple more months for more dickheads and pissheads to emerge.

Heck, here I am trying to rort … oops … rate this site high in Google for the search term cheating Aussies when it was the Poms cheating all along (OK, apart from the fire alarm but that’s another post).

Harlequins, who went on to win last year’s European Cup are embroiled in a controversy involving a blood-bin replacement.

It goes like this.

Harlequins are down by a point with a few minutes need to get Nick Evans (remember him) back on the pitch.

Bite a fake blood pack and Bob’s your bloody uncle (geddit?)

No problemo!

Actually, a little problem as the player concerned Tom Williams made a little mistake:

…  his must have been the most expensive, as well as stupid, wink in history.

A little bit of a give away.  A nod’s as God as a wink to a blind man except the TV wasn’t blind.

It’s not a great look for rugby either:

The ‘Bloodgate’ affair is one from which not one of the people or bodies concerned can draw any comfort. By dint of their acts, omissions and decisions they have added to rugby’s increasing litany of the unacceptable.

You’d think that the officials behind the decision would feel the heat.

Nope.

Having been unable to convict and having dismissed charges against any of the Quins officials, the ERC panel handed out a 12-month playing ban to the only body they could and did convict, Williams. The length of the sentence was clearly excessive in light of the eight-week bans given for the serious offence of gouging.

Yep, he’s guilty of a little bit of over-acting and he’s out for 12 months.  He could have eye-gouged the entire time and got less.

Who would have thought it?  An Ashes contest for the best sporting cheats – Aussies v Pomgolia.