Chris Rattue for one smells a … err, rat and he’s taking the distinctly un-nationalistic approach of support Wales.  And not just the beached ones either.

This particular rugby rivalry, not to mention the pompous All Black coaching panel, needs a giant kick up the behind.

Yep, our boyo Chris would be happy to see the Dragons fire to stick it up the three AB coaches.

The latest instalment of grandiose nonsense out of New Zealand rugby, involving the All Black coaches swapping their jobs, only makes the thought of a Welsh victory, however remote, even more mouth-watering.

Funny when you think that both Henry and Hansen (not the boy band) coached Wales too.

After a fair-to-hopeless season, a shock defeat would be a welcome comeuppance for the Teflon trio, a panel which escapes the serious scrutiny that has shaped All Black history and been a cross to bear for their predecessors.

It is fair to say that coaches with better records have fallen on their swords or, shall we save, have been through an assisted suicide process.

Perhaps – schock, horror! – we no longer expect the ABs to win every game and we’ve become more realistic when they do lose.

Perhaps we’re sick on winning everything every year and then falling over in World Cup year?

Perhaps not, according to Chris the Rat:

Having scuppered the prospects of other genuine All Black coaching aspirants, the NZRU and its wonder-boys are engaging in more of their mad-scientist schemes, arranging new job descriptions for themselves, minor tweaks they claim, apparently at the suggestion of senior players.

It’s interesting decision because if a player wasn’t performing in a core role (eg Latimer, Ross) they wouldn’t be given a different role would they?

Here’s a novel concept: if Steve Hansen really isn’t good enough to coach the forwards any more, then get someone in who is rather than let these 2007 World Cup failures become insiders trading places.

Indeed.  If Hansen is to take the blame, why give him another role?

In fairness, Rattue’s main focus is on what the Welsh need to do to beat the ABs.  Scoring more points than the Blacks would be a good start.

However in terms of the broader issue, Rattue’s point is valid – we either need an unexpected sweep with the ABs playing majestic football or a complete disaster of a tour which will force the NZRFU to react.

Anything else will see the focus remain on who is coaching the ABs off the field rather than what the ABs are doing on the field.

Sadly, as Chris Rattue noted in good old Granny, the ABs reached their nadir in Hamilton instead of nirvana.

Smit will go down as a colossus of world rugby, in the pantheon with the likes of Martin Johnson and John Eales, but the All Blacks are simply going down.

Ouch.

It gets worse – perhaps the mad Yarpie coach was right after all??

Referee Nigel Owens and touch judge Wayne Barnes combined to bolster the New Zealand scoreline with two and perhaps three crazy penalty rulings, from which Carter goaled, and a wonky decision which helped turn what should have been an attacking Springbok lineout into a Sitiveni Sivivatu try.

This handicapping of the Springboks started from their opening kickoff reception when Owens awarded the All Blacks a ridiculous penalty. He was at it again with a bizarre kick-chase offside call, and probably got a ruck penalty wrong as well although that is par for the course in rugby.

The result leaves more questions than answers.

Like why did we reappoint Henry and his partners in crime?

The always faulty, disingenuous theory that losing World Cup coaches, men who ruined their own team in 2007, would somehow be better for the experience was given humiliating last rites in Hamilton on Saturday night. So much for the NZRU’s claim that this trio is the dream team.

Mind you, if he thinks the coaches are bad, wait till you see what he has to say about Donald and Nonu:

Donald runs at the defensive line in the manner of a startled horse, and his presence has the effect of sending panic throughout the stables. He should never wear the black jersey again, because he simply isn’t good enough.

Outside him, Ma’a Nonu dropped the ball four times in a display that should also end his test days.

Don’t hold back Chris!

Mind you, as Rattue points out, for once the ABs looked better when Isaia Toeava came onto the pitch.

Still, he was just warming up for a grandstand finish, just like the ABs:

The wanton selection theory which led to an inevitably useless midfield pairing should send alarm bells ringing at rugby HQ, because it is just this sort of miscalculation which brought the All Blacks down at the last World Cup.

If losing World Cup coaches really do learn their lessons, how come poor, over-matched and out-of-position Donald and blunderkind Nonu were sent out together against the best team in the world?

Looks like it’s not going to matter how much tickets to the RWC final will be in 2011!