The Orange

I accept that I struggle to take myself seriously some of the time.

Blogging is not something that should be taken too seriously.

It does allow me to get away with using words like pissheads, fuckwits, and cheating Aussies.  Often all at once too!

However, from time to time issues come up that need to be taken seriously and the Mathew Johns story is one of them.

Now, let’s get one thing straight.

Rugby league players are to intelligence what Italian soldiers are to bravery.

The phrase shit for brains would normally spring to mind yet I fair it’s a rather unflattery assessment of most shits.

What a potent combination – high profile, high powered athletes powered by high testosterone.  They’re typically, young, fit, and readily available.

Like it or lump it, sportsmen and women have been a natural link for many decades – the only difference now is that the players get paid more and the media actually reports what goes on tour that no longer stays on tour.

I’m not going to make comments about what did happen or may have happened in Christchurch seven years ago.

Suffice to say, Johns has not denied what happened and on the surface it would seem fair to say that the police have investigated and found no cause to press charges.

Funnily enough, as far as John’s wife is concerned, it adds a different slant to the concept of “cheating Aussies”!

I’m not defending the morality of the situation or the undoubted impact on the young women concerned.  Right now, any one of the Sharks players who were on that pre-season tour will be keeping a low profile.

While some in the media seem to have enjoyed the persecution of Johns – there is a perverse media delight in seeing one of their own go down (so to speak) – I have real issues with where this logically ends.

Does this mean that if the public at large finds other acts immoral then we should deal to those players.

What does that mean for gays?  Muslims even? Heck, at this rate even vegetarians won’t be safe.

In no way am I defending the indefensible.

But nor can you logically defend soapbox justice when, according to the police, there hasn’t been a crime.

The ARC are now taking it up the chutney following the debacle with David Beckham and a Galaxy that is now far far away.

The loss is now reported to be close to $2 million which is a great ROI if you happen to be an Auckland ratepayer.

According to the Granny Herald, the ARC shelled out almost $3m to pay for Bex and his merry band of men.

Auckland might claim to be New Zealand’s creative capital but they will need creative accountants to make that one work for ratepayers.  More on this later!

The chair of the ARC was said to have been hit by the physical shock.  More like the shit that was flying around after the results became known.

As I mentioned above, they will need to be creative to deal with this one and bingo they have done just that according to an anti-rates rort campaigner, David Thornton:

Thornton was dismissive of the notion of ring-fencing the loss: “In other words they are going to put this loss as ‘reserves’ in the accounts, but the figure will be in brackets, meaning it is a minus figure,” Thornton said.

I bet you they learned that one from the smartest boys in the room at Enron – call a loss a negative asset and bingo no problemos!

So what went wrong (apart from everything) that lead to the $1.79 million debacle:

• NZers were over Beckham – he’d just been in the country 12 months earlier and many soccer fans had already spent their money on Bex
• the Oceania No Stars concept – no one cared less for the team opposing the Galaxy, compared to the fans actively supporting the Nix
• Auckland – Auckland and soccer goes together like Aussie cricket umpires and fair play
• the economy was starting to tank and the ARC already had their ARS on the line
• venue – the only Auckland venue that gets soccer crowds in on the North Shore – at least 1/2 an hour and many cultures away
• local bodies trying to be commercial – there’s a reason these guys don’t work in the real world!

Frankly, this is no more than the ritual dick comparison game that goes on between those lack in self confidence.

Auckland had to have what Wellington had.

Let’s hope Wellington doesn’t want to outdo Auckland and go for a $2m loss next time.

Arana Taumata is a very talented footballer, even if he’s been sacked by four NRL clubs.

However, his manager thinks he’s a fuckwit and would shoot him if he went out with his daughter.

The guy has got real talent – he looks like a superstar in the making and could be another Benji or even better.

Sadly for everyone, he hasn’t had the discipline to turn potential into performance.

What impressed me about the manager’s comments is his honesty:

“Everyone dribbles over his talent, because he’s got a gift.

“He’s genuinely one of the most exciting guys in either code to watch.

“But you can’t do what he has done. (Some people) think he’s an angel. He’s not. If he was going out with my daughter I’d shoot him.

“That’s the reality of it. No one has ever told him: ‘Mate, you’re just being a f——. I’ve said to him a number of times ‘you need to take responsibility for whatever you do… I am not going to make any excuses for you because there aren’t any.”

A pity more players aren’t actually managed by their manager.

These guys aren’t role models but they have a role to play in their team.  If they can’t be professional about performing their role, get rid of them.

After all, one rotten apple (or tomato) spoils the barrel.

Note: an acknowledgement that I flogged the the title for some cheating Aussie newspaper but at least I owned up to it.