The Orange

We all think Aussies are wankers.

Funnily enough, they didn’t see this one … er, coming.

A West Coast netball team’s cheeky name has been deemed too blue by the organisers of an international sporting event in Australia.

The Greymouth team, formerly known as the Master Baiters, will take part in the Sydney World Masters Games, which start on Saturday.

The team was asked to change its name after organisers thought the risque reference to whitebaiting was too much.

The 10 players in the New World Master Netters, as they are now called, will be among more than 1400 Kiwis taking part in 28 sports at the event.

Umpire Jocelyn Crestani, who will travel with the team, said the organisers feared the name “might have a bit of a double meaning if it was pronounced wrong”.

…

If you read it too quickly it could be misinterpreted. It’s fine for the locals, but maybe not there,” Crestani said.

Bloody Aussies

Can’t live with them.  Can’t live with them!

Frankly, I’m not all that interested in what Karmichael Hunt gets up to.

He appears to be the number one member of his own fan club and I’m sure could join the mile high club sitting on his own in first class!

Frankly, he now appears to be motivated by francs – Hunt’s now looking to spend a few months in France:

The AFL-bound Hunt had secured a $300,000 six-month stint to play in France, starting in January, but now the whole thing looks like falling over.

What’s interesting about this of course is the precedent he could set:

If Hunt successfully joins Biarritz, the Queensland Origin and Kangaroo star is expected to become the first professional athlete to play all three major football codes - NRL, rugby union and AFL.

However, if you’re used to doing what’s best for you when you like it, it can be a little difficult to sort out some of the details.

Strangely, while Hunt was very keen to forget his New Zealand origins (pun intended), he’s equally keen to no longer be called an Australian (and this is perfectly understandable):

The confusion centres around the New Zealand-born Hunt believing a Cook Islands visa would make him eligible to play in France under the foreign player quota system, but Biarritz have demanded he produce a Cook Islands passport.

So the New Zealander soon to be AFL star (??) who’s played NRL for Australia needs a Cook Islands passport to play rugby union in France.

Pretty much says it all really.

The Australian 1st XI cricket team might be crap but their commentators are worse.

Let’s acknowledge that Channel Stine effectively invented ODI as we know it.  Cricket became TV product thanks to the Aussies.

When the Aussies are all dominant, the commentators are all dominant, lauding the might of the Aussies.  As painful as it is, at least the sausage lived up to the sizzle.

But from what we’ve heard over the last couple of days, the sizzle is there even if the sausage has gone well and truly off.

Perhaps the epitome of this embarrassment was Bill Lawry’s commentary after a sublime leg glance by Elliot.

Elliot moved across his stumps to the off side, creating an angle from what was effectively a straight ball, and the ball then slid off the face of the bat for a delightful boundary.  [How's that for commentary - eat your heart out Cricinfo!]

So what do we get on Channel Strine?

FFS we get the LBW tracker showing that the ball would have hit the top of middle stump … if only the cheating Kiwi hadn’t hit it with the face of his bat!

Add to that the “we” from Slats and Gilly, the commentary became more of a wankfest than analysis.  And don’t get me started on Heals.

As for analysis and preparation from the Aussie commentators, look no further than the ODI rankings for bowlers.

“Under-rated” bowling attack according to the Aussie wankentators.

Two Kiwis are in the top 5 (Vettori #1, Mills #5) will the “best ODI bowler in the world” [Nathan Bracken in case you weren't listening] is only at 3.

To be fair, as the Great Butcher Man is prone to say, I shouldn’t complain.  Actually, linking the Mad Butcher with a post about sausages and sizzles is inspired!

The Aussies cricket commentators may be crap but at least their team is just as bad – let’s hope for 3-nil today and more classic commentary from Channel Strine.